5 Questions to Help You Stop Caring What Others Think (and Finally Live Freely)
Hey bestie. Let’s chat!
It’s time to talk step one of creating a life worth dreaming about. This is YOUR life – and what you do is up to you and you only.
BUT !
If you’re anything like me, you’ve let the thoughts, opinions, and words of others influence and change the life you lead.
What if they don’t like me?
What if they judge me?
What if they talk badly of me?
Goodness, it’s exhausting. Constantly worrying about other people – their views of you, what they think of you. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from living a life outside of conventional lines, it’s this: it doesn’t matter.
But, I know, that’s a hell of a lot easier said than done. And that’s why I’m here – to help you begin to take this weight off of your shoulders. Let’s stop living our lives in fear of how we’ll be perceived, and start living a life true to us – a life we’re excited to wake up to.
So, without further ado…
Here are 5 Questions to help you stop caring what other people think, and give yourself permission to write your own story.
Question #1: Whose opinions truly matter to you?
When working to stop caring what others think, I’m not saying to disregard everyone in your life. Not everyone’s opinion deserves space in your mind, but there are some that do.
Maybe it’s your boss at work, who you need to make sure stays happy (because some of us need money, I suppose).
Maybe it’s your sibling who’s known you your whole life.
Maybe it’s your dog! (hey, I’m not here to judge.)
Whoever it may be, make note of them (in your head, on a notepad, wherever). Why are their opinions important to you?
Everyone else, their thoughts, their opinions, what they choose to say about you – does not matter.
And, okay, I know this might sound simpler than it really is.
But let’s think about it for a second:
Let’s say – for our little example here – you’re afraid of going to the grocery store in your pajamas. Because what if the person in the checkout line is judging you?! What if they don’t like your pajamas! (Okay, Karen, I was comfy and wanted to wear them. If you don’t like that, it’s a you issue.)
Random people – people whom you’ve never seen before, whom you’ll never see again…why does it matter what they think of you? Why? Karen didn’t like your pajama pants. Damnit Karen.
Are you still alive?
If you’re reading this, I’d like to hope so. So whatever Karen thought about your pajama pants in Kroger didn’t change a thing. And guess what? You got to be comfy on a grocery store run. Win-win to me, it seems.
For this question, I’ll leave you with this:
The people who mind don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t mind. (-Dr.Seuss)
If wearing pjs to the grocery store is who you are, whoever doesn’t like it can kick rocks. And whoever does – those are your people. Those are the ones who will understand you, who will accept you, and who will love you because of it.
Those who don’t? They don’t deserve the space in your mind because why ???
They. Don’t. Matter.
Neither does Karen’s opinion, neither does that awkward thing you said in the elevator. Because – in the grand scheme of things – in a year, will it even matter?
Question #2: In a year, will it matter?
This is a question that I ask myself ALL the time. It grounds me and reminds me that whatever it is I’m stressing about – I probably won’t even remember a year from now.
So we went to Kroger in our pajamas today, and people were TOTALLY looking at us (probably not, but let’s just say they were).
We got home, snacks in hand, movie up and ready to go. Successful & cozy night.
This exact day next year, are we even going to remember wearing pjs to the grocery store? Or, better yet, the people who stared, do you think they’re going to think of that moment ONCE after leaving the store? I’d bet some good money on that answer being N O.
Even bigger things that might feel INCREDIBLY embarrassing in the moment – like walking around with toilet paper stuck in your pants or your shoe until someone has to tell you its there. How long has it been there?? How many people saw????
And in a year, that moment is only something to laugh about.
Or, say you start up your dream business. You do what you were put on this earth for. You share your gift with this world. People talk, people laugh, people judge.
Fast forward a year. You’re thriving. You’re living your purpose and loving your life. And everything people once whispered or judged? None of it matters anymore. So why let it hold you back now? What’s the worst that could happen?
Question #3: What’s the worst that could happen?
Let’s go back to our pajamas in Kroger scenario. You’re worried what Karen’s going to think. Okay, say she does judge you. Say she stands in line, looks you up and down, and gives you the worst stank face you’ve ever seen. I mean, if it were up to me, I’d bust out a little dance move and ask if she likes what she sees. (I vote this method)
Okay, okay. So she judges you. Then what? …
I ask again: Are you still alive? Did you get hurt? Will you survive? And one more question for you…aren’t you comfy?
But, there are times when living a life true to ourselves is more than just wearing pjs to Kroger.
Maybe you’re afraid of what might happen…
If you change career paths
If you share your art, writing, or music with the world
If you go against family expectations
If you leave a relationship everyone thinks is “perfect”
If you love who you want to love
If you dare to dream
In many of these moments, what others think of you might feel terrifying. But, I ask you this: Is their opinion worth sacrificing your own happiness?
Question #4: Is their opinion worth sacrificing your own happiness?
I don’t like to use a whole lot of cliches, but this one feels a little needed in this moment:
You only get one life.
One. That’s it.
Imagine, down the line, you are here on this earth for one last day. And all you can think about – is how you didn’t live your life; you lived theirs. You lived your life sacrificing your happiness for their opinion. When at the end of it all, their opinion was the last thing that mattered.
I know – this sounds harsh. But I have to give you a wake up call. I have to give you a reason to get up TODAY and stop caring what they’re going to think. Start living your life. Start doing what you want to do. Start saying what you want to say. BRING YOUR GIFT TO THIS WORLD.
One more cliche, and that’s it, I promise:
There is only one you.
One. That’s it.
Imagine, down the line, you are here on this earth for one last day. And the gifts that you could’ve given to this world, we will never receive. You lived your life sacrificing your gift for their opinion. When at the end of it all, their opinion was the last thing that mattered.
Without you, without your gifts, without your light, without your talents – the world will be missing out. Don’t let them take your light from this world.
–
So…where do I start? How can I begin to live my life – and stop living theirs? Well, I’m so glad you asked, because I have the answer (or rather, one last question for you):
Question #5: What would you do if no one was watching?
If no one could see you
If no one could judge you
If no one knew you
What would you do?
Start a blog? (you totally should, it’s fun)
Write a book?
Get a tattoo?
Learn to dance?
Change careers?
Travel solo?
Start a business?
Sing on stage?
Start therapy? (it’s awesome)
Launch a podcast?
Share your talent?
Move to a new city?
Go back to school?
Tell your story?
I’m asking you to dream for just a moment.
Because this is your one wild, beautiful life. And you’re allowed to live it loudly. You’re allowed to live it unapologetically. You’re allowed to live it exactly how you want.
So…what would you do if no one was watching? Maybe it’s time to find out.
with love,
ginger
